Starbucks

by Christopher Paul on November 12, 2005

The Starbucks cups that hold the “gourmet” coffee that they hock really suck. They always leak. Either the lids aren’t tight enough or the cups have too large a spine and it creates a gap because it always leaks at that spot. Whenever I get coffee there, I always stock up on napkins and wrap them around the white and green symbols of snobbery because I’ll get drenched in venti drip if I don’t.

And even though people call it gourmet, I think their coffee sucks compared to Illy’s or other brands. Their beans are always over roasted and dark. The brew always comes out highly acidic and never smooth or thick.

I’m not a coffee snob even if it sounds like it. I’ll drink Shasta if its the only thing around. I like Dunkin’ Donuts and have had really great coffee at diners whose food is suspect. But I have also had what coffee snobs believe to be the best coffee in the world.

I’ve had Kona, Columbian, Jamaican, and Mexican coffees. I’ve had blends and pure cups, light and dark roasts, instant and percolator, decaff and triple shot lattes mixed into my extra large drips. But all this coffee has just made me aware of what is out there in the world and Starbucks can’t compare.

I drink their coffee the most, however, because there are more of their barristas than anywhere in New York and I don’t have a coffee machine myself. If Illy’s opened a store near me, I’d be on that like stink on shit! Or if some Jamaican company came in offering their java, I’d drink it too. What I should do, though, is to get my own grinder and coffee maker and brew my own cup. If I could, I’d drink 100% Kona coffee until my teeth rot or my nerves leap out of my body.

Anyway, I hope Starbucks fixes their cups soon. I ruin more clothes drinking their coffee that way. You would think that someone who charges $3.50 for a large cup of coffee could afford to hire a good designer who could fix this very annoying problem. Stop selling music at inflated prices and fix the damn container!

Oh well, like most of America, I won’t change my habits and still give them my money. Just because their coffee isn’t great, doesn’t mean that there aren’t worse cups out there.

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