by Christopher Paul on April 24, 2006

I can’t seem to concentrate today. Obviously, this is affecting my work. I’m only posting because I feel like I need to something to get my mind off of whatever it is that’s keeping me from focusing.

Its not as easy as it seems, though.

I don’t know what’s on my mind or why I can’t focus. I know my mind is going a mental mile a minute and that I’m thinking of lots of different things virtually all at once. The problem is I can’t seem to concentrate on one task, object, or thought for more than a few seconds. I’ll soon get distracted with some other thought and won’t be able to return to what was – and what I should be – working on.

My wife and I are both struggling with our job satisfaction. She might not want to work and become a soccer mom – something that involves being a mom (and also something that we are working towards and, therefore, on my mind). I’m not looking to leave my job even with all the problems I have with it because I still believe in the company but I struggle to make the environment exciting and fresh.

I desperately want a car. I feel a little cramped right now and long to drive the open road. I miss the freedoms a car can offer and look forward to a time where I can be spontaneous and take a quick weekend jaunt somewhere away from the city – especially when the warm weather arrives. But I have to figure out if we can afford the car we want and, if we can’t afford it, what next. Do we save up for it? Do we get a different car that won’t excite me or meet our ‘needs and desires’? And if we can afford it, how (or what) do we sacrifice?

My eyes continue to bother me. I’m still waiting to see if I’m a candidate for laser corrective surgery and until I know, I won’t be able to wear my contacts. If I can’t get the work done, I can go back to contacts but have to find a pair that won’t infect my eyes like the other kind did. If I can get the procedure done, I can’t wear my contacts ever again. It will mean more headaches and squinting and all the problems that come with not being able to see.

I’ve got a lot of work to do at home, too. I’m washing and ironing my shirts now to save money and to keep the cleaners from messing up my shirts by over pressing (i.e. burning). I’ve also got a lot of filing to do and I’ve got to work with my financial planner on a few things – like FedEx my tax return. I also have loads (no pun intended) of laundry to do and the apartment hasn’t been cleaned since we moved in.

I’ve got all these frustrations and thoughts in my head making focusing very difficult.

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