Imperial Empire Responds to Failed White House Petition

by Christopher Paul on January 16, 2013

The Imperial Empire has issued a press release in response to the failed petition by American citizens to ask their build a ‘Death Star.’

The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. “It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,” said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. “Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”

Luckily, private citizens are allowed to conceal their own Death Stars and orbit them (with a permit) for protection or hunting under the 2nd Amendment.

h/t to Greg

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