Vegas Re-Visited

by Christopher Paul on August 12, 2005

So I’m off to Vegas. I’m in the airport terminal waiting for my 8:20 flight; I got here at 5:00. For some unknown, dumbass reason, I always get to the airport way before I need to. I guess I fell prey to what others have said and that’s to get to the airport two hours before the departure time of one’s flight. Now in the past, I’ve gotten to the airport exactly two hours before and still had 90 minutes before take-off. Not knowing how long it was going to get from World Financial Center, where I worked (remember, today is/was my last day), to to Newark International, er, Liberty Airport I left at 4:00 and got here an hour later. It took the normal 30 minutes to check in and I’ve been surfing the internet ever since through the concourse wireless system. Its 6:30 now and I’m already going crazy.

Sitting next to me is the gay white man with (from what I can tell) his adopted black son. The boy, who can’t sit still, is getting on his father’s nerve and doing the opposite of what he is told to do – just like every 5 year old should. Now the boy doesn’t bother me at all – even though he is running around like most children do. In fact, he’s actually tamer than some of the other kids hanging their parents arms. What is bothering me is the father! He has a very feminine, uh, accent – kind of like the Big Gay Al character of South Park. But that’s not the problem. The problem is his constant nagging!!!

Nothing this kid does is ever right! I’m sure he’s going to grow up with some kind of complex because he never eats enough broccoli (which is being force fed down his throat by daddy). He’s always being asked if he has to go to the bathroom and always being scolded for looking out the window and playing around in the airport. And the kid’s playing is the most harmless, innocent playing I’ve ever seen at an airport. I’m not a fan of other people’s kids and for this kid to not get on my nerves is amazing and says something about how well behaved he is.

But the dad is driving me fucking nuts!!!

Adding insult to injury is the fat fuck sitting next to Jeffrey (the kid adopted by Big Gay Al). He’s playing a movie on his portable DVD player without using headphones. But the oddest thing is he isn’t really watching a movie. He’s watching the 20th Century Fox introduction clip – you know, the art deco brass logo being shined on by spotlights – over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. After realizing that he was replaying the intro I counted how many times he did it; I counted 11. Now the kid is really laughing at the intro and ha a huge smile on his face while his equally fat fuck mother reads her book and watches on. Everyone is staring at this kid and the very loud DVD player but either he doesn’t care or so completely oblivious to the world around him or lacks the manners needed to interact socially in the world.

There is a lot of other noise around the airport but it comes from the TV showing the CNN Headline News channel and the public announcements for boardings, personal pages, and lost articles. I have a headache already and I’m not even frustrated by some jerk sitting next to me on the plane. This is one reason I hate travel and flying in particular.

But I can take comfort knowing that the adopded child is in good hands with his new father. The father takes really good care of him and in between the nagging he trys to educate his child and reads to him. He also points out new things for Jeffrey to learn and speaks in a way that a child would respond to (except when he scolds). Its really comforting that some kids will really get a fair shake in life from what could have been years in a home with plenty of exposure to drugs, gangs, and other abuses.

I can also take comfort that the fat fuck next to him will always be socially inept and never do well in life being doomed to be a janitor or something. Oh, maybe a bathroom attendant! That’s would be a good job for him.

Anyway, I’m signing off and going to search for food. I’m sure that will be another post because all I can see is greasy fast food or bar & grill fare.


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